Once Bitten, Twice Shy
by Amaya130
Summary: AU. Naruto finds Sasuke and Itachi dead, so he decides to fulfill Sasuke's last wish by bearing the Uchiha Heirs. Four years later, he hears a rumor. They are still alive. Slash, Shika/Naru, Gaa/Naru, Semi-Ita/Naru/Sasu, fem!NaruPREG but male!Naru


Disclaimer: If I wanted to own anything it would be the world. Then I'd own Naruto by proxy, but since this is not the case I make no money from this and don't want to be sued. Thank you.

**WARNINGS! **: Naruto is a **MAN!** However he is completely female while having the children and retains that disguise after wards. But he is a man, no Fem!Naruto here.

* * *

There was no in depth, simple way to explain how a man could bear children. Mostly Naruto just thought in the simple terms to not give himself a headache. His Oiroke no Jutsu gave him the basic characteristics of the female form, but his insides didn't change to reflect that. Kyuubi was the one who gave him ovaries. The Fox Demon had found the entire affair ludicrous, but he had helped. Given him a woman's body and kept him that way until he gave birth to his beautiful boys.

It had been a spur of the moment decision. He'd found them both dead, facing each other. The grounds and forests around them utterly decimated and their bodies bloodied and broken. And knew he'd failed. Failed to save Sasuke, failed to bring him back, failed to be there for him. Failed.

The last time he'd cried had been for the Sandaime's funeral, but now the tears fell silent and full down his cheeks, distorting his whisker marks as they passed. And he couldn't help but think that he couldn't do anything right. That he could ever _make_ anything right when his best friend was de—gone.

At least in the end Sasuke had accomplished his goal. Revenge had been sought and taken. The only other dream Sasuke had, the resurrection of his clan, had been left unfulfilled and would never be. Not with both of their corpses cold, limp versions of themselves. So he had stood there over cooled bodies, two black eyes blank and unseeing, almost identical faces slack and pale with death. Thoughts, expressions twisted his face into damp, hardened lines. His mind flashed back over his years of training, desperately searching for any jutsu, any possible way of obtaining what he wanted. Sasuke's return.

So here he was, the bodies not even a day old, and all the pain was for nothing. He let his fingers brush over Sasuke's pallid face to pull the hanging strands of dark hair behind his ears, barely believing his best friend wouldn't open his eyes again.

"Kyuubi-san," Naruto said, staring at Itachi's frozen form, "is there any way to fulfill Sasuke's last desire?"

The rumbling response echoed like a beating drum through his head, **"What you are asking could kill you, Naruto. Your body is not made to carry a child. The amount of chakra required is not mortally possible." **

Naruto shook his head, "But is it not demonly, Kyuubi-san? Oiroke no Jutsu will provide the basic female form and you would provide the insides and Sasuke and Itachi's essence. We can do this!"

The prison rattled viciously as Kyuubi prowled, **"You are asking for two children? One of Sasuke's and one of his brother's? One child would risk death, two would almost certainly kill you. I cannot condone this Naruto. Even I do not have enough chakra to sustain a female form growing two children. The strain on both your body and mind would overwhelm both you and I." **

"Kyuubi-san, onegai!" Naruto begged, on his knees, fresh tears smudging his dirty cheeks, "I need this! I can't let this be the end. If Sasuke dies, everything will be over. I _need_ him! Even if it is only his child!" His voice broke. Everything had gone wrong, but he could do this. He could bear the Uchiha heirs.

There was silence; Kyuubi's deep, rumbling breaths soaked their shared mindscape in heavy contemplation. **"Naruto, your body will never be the same if you survive." **The great beast murmured, **"Even after the birth, when the female organs are released, your body will be permanently altered. There is only so much I can do to prevent the alteration of your body. Living as a woman will change you. I cannot prevent this."**

The broken landscape was mournfully silent, softly holding its breath as Naruto pressed a trembling, golden finger to a pale cheek. "I understand."

Kyuubi rustled and growled, **"You will be unable to perform chakra. My own will be unable to heal or protect you. For all purposes you will be a common, pregnant civilian woman. I will not be able to communicate unless your kits are in peril."** A pause, as if even the demon prayed some other cosmic power would come to change his vessels mind. None came. **"Perform your henge, Naruto. And have skin contact with both your Uchihas. Their hands to your stomach. We will begin."**

The two corpses lay broken a distance apart but Naruto had already lifted and sprawled Sasuke's cooled, slowly stiffening form next to the cloaked one of his elder brother. The henge came automatically, not even a small puff of smoke to denote the change. Spiky golden hair turned lighter brown, softened and waved to just below shoulder length, the characteristic cheek scars faded to unmarked skin and brilliant sky blue eyes darkened to deep sapphire. His face was rounder, and blurred to a shape quite unlike his own.

Naruto was not fool enough to attempt returning to the village as a vulnerable woman bearing the Uchiha heirs. He would remain unrecognizable, avoid the Konoha Anbu that would hunt him. His children, Sasuke's and Itachi's heirs, would be untouched by the expectation of his village that he would promise.

His shirt pushed up, he grabbed limp hands and pressed the callused, dead appendages to his toned stomach. "Begin." He ordered.

Red flames flared like a mini sun around his knees, but the pain, the large, gouging, poisoned blades twisted in his firm abdomen. An illusion stemming from ten fingertips and two palms. Heat, unbearable liquid flames raced through his veins, burning his mind and very bones. His body crumpled like parchment over the two hands, desperately trying to prevent himself from tearing them and the pain away.

It never seemed to end, once he adjusted, could breath around the agony, some new point would flare and _hurt._ Tears scalded his already burning cheeks as he lay flat against dark mud with two dead men beside him, their hands trapped against his twisting stomach. Numb to the pain because there was too much and he couldn't tell whether his intestines had evaporated in his body.

"**Sleep, child. Don't fight. Sleep."** A dark, pained voice spoke from somewhere. Familiar, so familiar, but it hurt too much to think. **"Sleep." **

And he slept.

* * *

He woke to damp, moist air tickling his nostrils. It was full dark and from the stiffness of his limbs he had been unconscious for quite some time. "Kyuubi-san."

There was no answer and for a moment, Naruto panicked. But then he felt it. Two hands against his stomach, a heavy, painful pressure against soft mounds on his chest. The emptiness between his legs.

He was a woman. A pregnant woman in the middle of nowhere, unable to use chakra, unable to defend himself, unable to commune with the one creature that could possibly help him. He leveled himself to his knees and glanced around with his new dark eyes. There were no scorches around his body, the mud had seen to that, but there were new burns on both bodies and their hands looked like they had been held over a fire for long moments. His own body felt sore, burnt, especially his stomach. Glancing down as he pulled up the loose clothes, he grimaced. There were perfect, overlapping imprints on his stomach over the seal.

Their hands. They wouldn't scar, not with the burn salve he had with him, but they would be unpleasant without the Kyuubi's healing chakra. And he'd have to find a way to conceal the Kyuubi's seal which he guessed would be completely visible during the pregnancy with the constant feeding of chakra to the children.

His bag was quickly gathered before he realized he would never be able to carry it with his current strength. Tears, to his horror, tried to gather in his eyes before he firmly wrestled his control back. He may now be a woman, but whatever changes to himself would not involve tears. It only took a while to clean out the unnecessary equipment from his back such as the sealing scrolls that he now couldn't unseal without his chakra. Carefully, and painstakingly, he burned what he couldn't take with him and painfully hoisted the still heavy bag onto his back.

The trek across miles and miles of forest land proved strenuous. What should have taken a few hours at most took almost five days. The small town he came upon at the end of the fifth day was hospitable enough but just one look at his expenses and situation told him he wouldn't survive a month in his current form. He needed an ally. Someone that would keep him a secret form Konoha but have the ability to care for him.

Unnervingly he could only think of two people who could manage that. Inari and Gaara. But only Gaara could keep him safe if worse came to worse. In the rundown back room of a pub filled with raucous civilians he knew he needed to get to Sand. The sooner the better.

* * *

**Four Years Later**

"Ahh! Natsumi-san!" The old man bustled out of the steamy back kitchen of his crowded restaurant, wiping dirty hands on his weathered apron. Natsumi smiled at him, one hand darting out to seize the hooded back of her older son's shirt as he attempted to creep off.

"Ohayou, Hanyou-san. Just our usual, please." She replied, swinging the errant child onto her hip before he could get himself into any trouble. Hanyou-san nodded, escorting her personally over to a well isolated booth near the back away from the other families. He always made sure to get them a private area since the girl and her children weren't well received by the rest of the villagers. She'd only been there a month, but already rumors were flying about her young age and the toddlers that never left her side. The little boy dangling from his mother's hip was encaged in the booth, his mother blocking his escape route while the other, quieter sibling took the seat on the outside.

Hanyou wasn't a gossiping man, but he heard a lot from the people circulating through his humble business. Supposedly, she'd shown up from nowhere and rented a small house on the outskirts of town with two children at her heels. One of the more fantastic rumors suggested she was a daimyo's daughter in outcast with her illegitimate children. Another suggested she'd seduced the leader of a Hidden Village and become pregnant to trap him into marriage which hadn't succeeded of course. Every other day it changed, until all that was certain was the girl's and her children's undeniable beauty.

"Your orders will be right up, is there anything else I can get you?" He asked.

Her pretty eyes, the dark bluish-black he compared with a brewing storm front, glanced at him before she shook her head, golden brown curls tumbling around slim, white shoulders. Chilled by her gaze, he retreated before he stuttered something untoward. The newest rumor was that she was a witch, and the children were her demon minions. Not that that had anything to do with his quick retreat. Of course not. It was just better to be cautious.

* * *

Observing the quick retreat of the old man, Naruto sighed. This town was quickly becoming unwelcoming. They would have to change towns soon, maybe go to Earth and then Cloud. Winter was coming in a few months, so a brief stopover in Cloud before they headed to Sand for the cold months would be acceptable. After a frost bitten, hungry season last year, the last thing he wanted to do was attempt another winter with even less preparation than the year before. Even now that he could use his chakra again he rarely did except in a hidden village where large amounts of chakra were used daily. It wouldn't do to be tracked and capture by hunter nins just to practice a jutsu.

An attempted poke at his side brought him back to reality. His hand flashed down and caught the tiny finger before it finished unfolding from the boy's loose fist. "Satoshi!" Naruto responded exasperated.

Big, obsidian eyes blinked up at him morosely, "Okaa-san, I'm bored." The delicate eyebrows puckered distraughtly as fake water brightened his eyes. It would have worked three years ago, but Naruto had become quite used to his older child's acting. As it was, he sighed again and fished out a logic puzzle from the insides of his jacket. Eagerly it was accepted and heavy, focused eyes attempted to unweave the intricate folding and knots.

"Okaa-san?" A serener childish voice asked. Identical eyes to his older brother peered at him from behind a soft fall of sunshine golden curls that were also shared between the siblings though Kazuya's was a few inches longer.

"Yes?" Naruto responded, his light, dare he say 'motherly' smile creeping over his face without his say so. The Kyuubi had been right in predicting his personality change. His temper had gone from an explosive fury to the vicious, stewing and silent anger of a shinobi woman scorned. Even as his clinginess increased to new levels of attachment.

"Will we be departing our current location soon?" was the reply, worded the way Naruto or rather Natsumi would have said it. It was always amusing to him that Satoshi had taken after his old playful male personality and Kazuya had taken his politer, serious female personality. It's the only way anyone could tell them apart actually, though Naruto had had a discussion with them about adopting each other's personalities to mix things up a bit.

That they were so similar always surprised him. He could, of course, tell them apart without problem, but even so, they shouldn't have been quite so identical. They did have different fathers after all.

Smiling down at his youngest, Naruto replied, brushing stray curls behind his ear, "Yes, first Cloud and then Sand."

Satoshi looked up from his puzzle, face ecstatic, "We'll be visiting Gaa-chan?" He blurted out, face flushed with excitement and a large grin splitting his face. Kazuya wasn't much better, practically bouncing in his seat. Naruto sadly wondered to himself what it meant that "Gaa-chan" was his sons' best friend and a man seventeen years their senior. When his children attended a short lived primary school, Naruto had seen the normal children. More immature than his, happier. Without a care in the world, not wondering where they'd live next or if the next month was going to be tight on food.

But he just smiled, and responded positively, because in the end it didn't matter. There was no way to stay in one place for more than two months. Sometimes they only stayed a week or a few days. Constantly on the move. Even after four years, Tsunade and Jiraiya hadn't stopped sending sporadic search teams out to find him, and any Konoha shinobi who saw him was to detain him and bring him in as soon as possible.

Plates were shuffled onto the table by a shaky young teenager who fled just as the plates clattered to the wooden top, not even bothering to refill the empty water cups. Ignoring that, Naruto got his children fed and had them shuffled out the door in thirty minutes. They had packing to do for their trip and Naruto had a few options to consider.

The walk back was slow, his boys or rather Satoshi with a lagging Kazuya, gallivanted off into the bushes to chase a fleeing rabbit. Cautiously, he kept one ear on their excited heartbeats but otherwise let his mind wander. Kyuubi was snoring in the back of his mind but that was easily ignored as well.

His boy's were four, and already well versed in shinobi training and discipline. Years on the road with nothing else to do but train their chakra and bodies had given them very advanced chakra control and stamina for their age. Their heritage was also influential in the development of their abilities. A Jinchuuriki for a mother and their Father's were both Uchiha men, geniuses outside of astonishing genes and immense power. In some ways, Kazuya had taken after his quiet, serious Father just as much as he'd taken after Naruto. Itachi never seemed or acted like a man of many words. And his mother liked to think that Satoshi was like Sasuke would have been if he hadn't drowned himself in his revenge.

The hedges rustled as Naruto approached, but the shinobi merely raised a delicate eyebrow as the familiar chakra of his mischievous children finally erupted to attack him. He caught one flying foot and another tiny hand, dangling them in front of him trying unsuccessfully to assault him with other appendages.

Finally they sagged in his grip, pouts pulling their lips into little, pink buttons. "Okaa-san!" They complained, still held by their limbs. Satoshi's face was turning bright red as the blood slowly filled his upside down body. Kazuya just looked at him askance when he finally set them down. Naruto merely sighed.

"Now, why did that fail?" Ignoring their suspicious faces, he settled onto a tree trunk. It was a little game they played. If they managed to get one hit on their mother they wouldn't have anymore lessons for the day. Of course, they hadn't won yet.

Both boys sat in a huff but were seriously considering his question. Unsurprisingly, Kazuya was the first to speak. "We acted too hastily and didn't take into consideration your enhanced senses and abilities. We reverted to our original behavior of simply attacking outright, instead of the planning and attempts to trick you into letting your guard down."

Pleased, Naruto smiled at him and ruffled the golden curls. "Very good, Kazuya. Satoshi, next time you'll be answering. Your brother has been more than forthcoming the last thirty times, so the next is yours." He gave a little wink and started off on the path again. There was much grumbling and fussing behind him, but both boys caught up and walked placidly by their mother's side.

When they finally arrived at the small house, Naruto set the boy's to clean up while he packed their gear and some nonperishable food for the trip. It always tempted him to simply use his Kage Bunshins, but it was always good practice for the boys to learn discipline and detail orientation. Leaving clues behind during a mission for an enemy shinobi behind was stupid and so they had to practice. Despite the fact that it took a few more hours and they sometimes made more of a mess than not.

As if on cue, a stray leg weight vaulted through the small hallway and smashed through a plaster wall. All noise stopped as Naruto slowly got to his feet and looked out the bedroom door. Covered in drifting plaster dust, there were two ghosts in his hallways. Satoshi blinked, "Oops?" he offered. Covering a sigh, Naruto shook his head and went back to his packing.

"We won't be leaving until you have that patched up boys. You might want to go get some plaster and wood." He called as he folded the last black shirt into Satoshi's bag. There was a scattering of footsteps down the hall, "And you'll have to clean up all the dust you track around too!"

There was a chorus of groans between the black eyed boys, but they didn't complain. Their mother was a force to be reckoned with on any day. But moving day was always the worst.

* * *

When Gaara had first seen Naruto-kun after the disastrous confrontation between the last two Uchihas that had resulted in both brothers' deaths, he'd been an utter wreck and very, very female. Almost four months pregnant and horribly thin, he'd nearly lost the children and spent a few weeks after the birth still recovering. The explanation was as easily acceptable as it was baffling. Even Naruto was still unsure what affects those nine months as a certified woman meant to his true, male body as a whole.

His promise to explain was finally fulfilled two weeks after he arrived, still pale and shaky from the near miscarriage. From what Gaara had understood, the Kyuubi had expended all of its available chakra power and control into solidifying Naruto's Oiroke Jutsu into a true female form. Then he had to maintain that shape for nine months while two life forces were slowly maturing and becoming more complicated inside the essential female organs. The real henge converting Naruto's body had been released right after the birth, but it took almost three weeks before the fox was fully recovered from the constant stress and all the lingering traces of Naruto's female self were eliminated from his body.

Gaara was there the last five months, supporting his suffering friend through the dodged miscarriages and the painful birth done with no anesthesia because his body absorbed it too fast. It had been a complete secret that the woman Gaara was seen with was Naruto. No one, not even Kankuro and Temari, had been informed of the young woman's true identity. They simply thought it was Gaara's attraction for blond haired and blue eyed individuals that made Gaara so attentive to her.

At the end of the nine months, Naruto gave birth to two identical baby boys with their mother's full head of blonde curls and dark blue eyes that had slowly bled to black as they aged. Both had sharingan potential Naruto was positive. Given that information, and the fact that the sharingan was incredibly valuable and had supposedly died out with the death of Sasuke and Itachi, Gaara was concerned for both the children. When their abilities became known, every village would be vying for them to be added to their villages. Even if it came to force, or coercion.

"A blood bath will occur," Gaara had told his blond friend, "to claim those children."

Naruto had grimaced and merely replied, "If all comes to worse, I'll join your village and become your wife so no one would be able to take me without risking war."

Amused at his solution, but not at all opposed to having his best friend as his companion forever, Gaara had replied, "If that happens, you'd be welcome at my side as my wife and your children as my children. Never doubt that."

And Naruto had believed him, even coming by every year to say hello sporadically so the children would know him well. So when the message came through from his secretary that, "Kazemura-san was coming." He couldn't help a happy smile from tugging at his lips, despite the familiar dangerous Konoha shinobi in front of him.

Sharp, pale eyes caught the twitch of his lips but didn't comment on the Kazekage's slip. His cool, blank face was back in a second, but the name and the reaction had been caught. "Is that all?" Gaara said to the man, eager to send the unwelcome shinobi back to his village. It wouldn't do to have a Byakugan user anywhere near Naruto, especially not with the news that had just been brought to him.

The man considered the words, and finally nodded. "Yes, Gondaime-sama has instructed me to inform you of returning additions to our village." There was a brief, uncharacteristic pause where opaque eyes thinned just enough to show both disapproval and anxiety. "Both Uchiha's are alive and have returned to Konoha. If you're in contact with Naruto," Gaara's face remained perfectly still, "the Hokage would appreciate if you'd inform him of the new development." The room was cloaked in silence two pairs of strong eyes engaged in a battle of wills. Finally, bowing stiffly at the waist, just barely low enough to not be insulting, the Hyuuga slipped out the office door and disappeared.

Gaara sat stiffly at his desk, thoughtfully considering the new information. "Yuri-san." He murmured. A Sand Anbu melted out of the wall shadows and stood at attention. The chair gave an annoying creak as its master leaned back, "Follow Hyuuga Neji-san to the borders of Sand. Make sure he's gone. Return and report when the objective is completed."

The mask, eerily engraved with a white lily blooming near the left temple, bobbed, and she disappeared just as silently as she came.

The long, chest heaving sigh that escaped Gaara a moment latter was the only indication of his frustrated mood. The Uchihas were still alive. And he would have to tell Naruto so he wouldn't hear from anyone else. Just imagining his reaction was already making Gaara wince and contemplate the reinforcement of his office walls and the order of a new desk. Or maybe just the movement of this one and a dummy replacement. It really was his favorite desk.

The Kage hat was set to the side of his table, the long strands of his bloody crimson hair neatly pulled back in a ponytail with a few errant strands stubbornly hanging by his face. He knew, from the remarks of both his siblings and his best friend that he had aged considerably since gaining the position of Kazekage. Gaara had replied that if they had to be responsible for an entire village's welfare that they would be aging quickly as well.

A few days at most before Naruto and his kids got here, Gaara had that much time to plan how to break the news. The father's of Naruto's children were in Konoha. And they were _alive._

* * *

Amaya here. My first attempt at a long fic for Naruto so no unwarranted Flames. Now a long review with a "this is utterly wrong, have you never read Naruto!" is cool. Since I am unfortunately not well acquainted with recent developments in plot and my memory is a scattered creature. Anyways, lots of love.

~Amaya13

Ps. Review! Please! I will output quicker!


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